The lessons to be learnt are all on SELF: Self worth, self confidence, self esteem, self respect, and self love.
Loving your self is the first and foremost lesson and duty. Spend time working on self, giving yourself time and energy. Experience your own power. To love your self is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Be kind and listen to your heart. Enjoy the ride. Happiness and pain are the exercises, for your heart making it stronger every time. Love is always present, you have to feel it or not feel it.
Man is a well of energy. The well has to be active always. You have to keep drawing the water out of the well all of the time. This is how the well fills up. If you close down the well, then the water dries up. The springs that feed the well, clog up and the stagnant water evaporates. Man, like the well must be active and continue loving, as long as, he is alive.
You got to learn the correct lesson on love. When you are not in love, then you are in fear. You are a slave of fear. Hate is, love standing upside down. You are a product of love, not sex or lust. You were born to love, in the right fashion and not be a part of the population explosion.
When you need to be loved, you take love, where ever you can find it. When you are desperate, to be loved, to feel love, to know love, then, you seek out, what you think love should be, or looks like. When you find love, or what you think love is, you will lie, steal, or even kill, to keep it. It is only a perception. You are not sure what you are looking for.
Unfortunately learning about love comes from within. It cannot be given or taken away. It grows from your sense of self. You create and recreate love within yourself, if and when you have had, loving experiences in your life. By a long shot, you are not likely to have had, any such loving experiences, so you are empty inside. You are like a tourist in a strange country without a road map. You hold onto, reach out to, and find yourself embroiled in mistaken beliefs, mirages about you and love.
Most of us learn the wrong lessons of love through pain. Abusive, negligently inflicted unnecessary pain is meted out to us. We learn to expect pain, as an ingredient, of being loved. The loved ones will hurt you and ignore your pain. It is never explained to you. You got to figure it out for yourself by watching, listening, and experiencing the pain and hurt, first hand.
An abandoning father sets the pattern of love, in your life, on the boom of your subconscious. You learn to define love, by its absence, rather than its presence, by the pain it inflicted, rather than the joy, it was supposed to bring. If you bear the pain of love silently, you can hope against hope, that someone will one day love you enough, to hurt you again.
People will get what they want, from you and then leave. Young girls are often tricked, by (strangers) their boyfriends, into believing that they love them, just to have sex with them. They tell lies and false praise, to get what they want from you, your piece of innocence. Then, when you really need that someone, the people you expect to be there, will not be there.
Paradoxically people deny each other love, compassion, and understanding that they both yearn for. You have to be aware, of your fears that love can hurt. This fear, does not allow new people, to come close to you and become intimate. It is tough for most of us, to open up our hearts and receive love and enjoy it, instead of getting frightened by it. Of course, love does not come with a guarantee, to not to, hurt you.
Love sometimes, does hurt, but that is the chance, we all have to take. Pain is part of the total package deal. When the other person leaves, we don’t cease to be wonderful, for whatever reason. Unfortunately, we misunderstand the happening and close our hearts and shut down. We are afraid of living out, our feelings of pain, and sadness.
Love is not your power; it is your helplessness, utter helplessness. It is a cry of a weeping heart. Just accept it. People are loveless. Nobody knows how to love. You are taught, the wrong lessons of romantic love, abstract love, and fairy tale love.
You are taught, by your role models about domestic love, passionate love. The urgency, to settle down in life is pushed. You are pressurized to acquire, all that foolish baggage, furniture, house, and family, at the cost of your life. They say, you must postpone, true love and loving now. You are bulldozed, into the path of suffering with passionate love or being lonely, without love.
Passionate love is hot and unidirectional. It is directed to one person. Love means to desire with immense intensity. It is between you and someone else, a stranger to begin with. Then, as time goes by, you think, you become familiar and friendly with the stranger.
After some more time has passed, you get fed up of the familiar face and body. The intense desire, for this stranger, has burnt out.
Now, you desire a new stranger, to replace the familiar stranger. Love is spontaneous, the unknown, the unexpected. Passionate love does not come, alone. It brings with it, its own troublesome baggage of jealousy, possessiveness, anger, fighting, quarrelling, nagging, intolerance, domination. It’s part of the total package.
First you look for a perfect mate. The perfect one is nowhere to be found. It may happen, some time, in the future. You are so lonely, without love. Eventually, you do get together with an almost perfect mate. You are still unhappy, because of minor imperfections, in your mate. The nose is slightly longer, the teeth are not aligned, the complexion is over tanned, or the gait is lethargic. You end up with no love, in every situation. How you deal with love, is how LOVE will deal with you. Falling in love is a comic and Cosmic Mystery. How it happens? When it happens? You don’t know. Love is a gift that chooses you, for a brief period of time. You do not choose love, but you are supposed to celebrate it, accept it, feel it filling you up and overflowing your heart, then reach out and give it away.
Give it back to the person who brought it, alive, in you. Give it to others, who seem poor in spirit, around you. When we are in love, our hearts open up and we are able to get in touch, with those weak spots, within ourselves, making us feel perfect and wonderful.
Love has its own time, season, and reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it, coerce it, or reason it, into staying, when it chooses to fly away. You should do nothing if and when love decides to leave. Just let go. Let it go away. Do not try to hold on to it, nor reclaim it. We want answers, there are no answers. There is no meaning, beyond the love itself.
Feel honored, that someone loves you, but unfortunately, you do not feel love for that someone. Gently, refuse the gift that you cannot return or reciprocate. Never take advantage and cause pain. Keep your heart open, love will come back again. Simply trust it and trust yourself.
Compassionate love, is the right lesson on love. It is on top of the ladder of love. It is between you and all the existence. It is “love all”, as they say in lawn tennis. This love is long lasting because it is cool. Once you have mastered balancing on this rung of the ladder you are ready for the next step. The step of gratitude! Compassionate love is your personal trainer for gratitude. Just wait for it to happen. Be aware, intensely because the number one enemy of ego can strike anytime and sabotage your plans. Ego can resist the happening of gratitude, to you.
Love oneself and fill up. Then go out and share it with every other, unconditionally. Does it not make more sense to enjoy all the time? Those who love deeply and are truly mated, have no desire to dominate others or to initiate wars. Love is desire, effort and forgiveness intermingled in equal proportions.
It is concentrated kinetic energy with positive electrical impulses capable of energizing WISHES into REALITY, and manifest marvelous magic. It can counteract gravity, allowing you to levitate, recall of previous incarnations, and even reverse your aging process.
Rohit Khanna is the author of the book - Magic Of The Mind & Miracle Of The Body. This article has been taken from his book.