You must have come across the times when someone might have needed you and you had turned them down by saying the statement “ Sorry, I am Busy “.
This might seem simple or okay to you, but does it feel the same way, when you hear the same words from someone? No, not really.
Also, you expect or assume that the person seeking you, your help will or should understand your denial or refusal. Do you yourself really understand when someone does that to you ?
No, you do not and neither do you feel okay with it. Hearing the “BUSY “ word from someone you need, pisses you off.
But, Why ?
The sole reason behind this hurt is, EXPECTATIONS. Because, we expect, so do we get hurt and feel dejected.
Let me discuss the process :
Hearing “ Busy” from someone is not acceptable to you.
It hurts your so called “ego”
Makes you feel less important
It invades your mind with thoughts like “ I do not matter”, “ I mean nothing to him/her”
Asking for something from someone, is usually not easy, for some of us, as some of us are not good at accepting rejections or denial. To some, It is a big deal to ask for.
In the process, you get offended, agitated and call them names like “ selfish “ or “self-absorbed” or even take oaths to never seek help from that person again.
Does it mean that your relationship is bounded by the availability of that person as per your needs?
So, should I not say, that you are with that person only, because he/she is there whenever you need them, if not, then. Shooo ! You chuck them out of your life. So, isn’t it self- eccentric behavior ? So, who should be entitled as selfish. ?
Is it wrong ? What if being busy is genuine, the person is not faking it ?
I will not say that one can or should be available all the time, That is simply not possible.
But, at least when someone approaches you for help, and you know you can help them, please make sure at least give it a try.
And if you genuinely are busy, then please say it, in a way that the person is not hurt by your words. As I mentioned above, for some, it might be really painful to accept it.
We are busy and will get even more busy with time, it is all about the priorities. So, before saying a blunt No, and labeling it with “Being Busy”, just try to put yourself in others’ shoes.
I would say, it is about the understanding, some will understand, some won’t.
Do not glorify being busy as an achievement or do not use it as an excuse, please !! DO NOT.
We all have a little downtime, and I believe some of it can be spared for others, for the sake of humanity may be. Stop telling a lie with the self and the others, be at service, if you can. Trust me, It feels great.
We all are definitely going to be buried in the gravel of responsibilities, duties, dreams, and desires, All I am urging here is : understanding your role, your help to others may mean a lot to them, and the difference you can make to someone who needs you, and, Understanding that yes, people can be busy at times, just do not ASSUME that they do not want to help.
If you are busy, it is okay, tell the person, not by avoiding, but, by using the words that will not hurt him/her. Just do not be a selfish prick. That is all I had to say.